My Submission Progress

He is my Dom-not my boyfriend This blog is about space, about being content of my dom not being fully available at all times, and days where sending a two word text is all I will get out of him. It’s hard in an online dynamic to have available time or even emotional time. The past two days I have been off work, and endless days ahead of me, to ponder and think. When this has happened before, I struggled, I ranted and I lost him.  I fight with myself to not send starkly texts and think the worst. But as every other person on the planet, you can’t help but wonder if it would ever be the same. So I came up with a game plan, last night... some of my best plans and schemes are made in sleepless nights. My game plan is to put his absence as a way to prove my submission. My job as his submissive and one day hopefully full slave is to create for him a place of total  sanctuary with no drama and no complaint -- just service and one hundred percent submission even when I have be...

I have decided to do two entries today, because my insecurities are getting the best of me today, and I am overthinking a lot of things that I shouldn’t be. So instead of doing or saying something u may regret, I will write another blog. A blog that I would never do unless it was asked of me by Sir. Last entry I mentioned how I felt when doing things he would ask, such as picking out certain foods, and his presence would be known even without him absent. So that is the reason I am writing this entry now. My second one. To feel that feeling. Since we are on the discussion of punishments and feelings, I will continue with those. With each transaction the punishment got a bit more severe than 10 lines. It became 50 then 100 and then 200. With each ache of my hand I felt him more and more. One day he gave me the option of isolation or lines. Of course I choose lines, because as I mentioned before, I don’t do well mentally when I am alone for long periods of time. I start becoming what I ...

08/23/2018       The first week I had a Dom, I knew then and there that this is where I want to be in life. this is what I want to be, in how my future relationships were. I was also going on a few dates with someone with the permission of my Dom. Lets call him "Sir" for giggles and easier. So by  Sir's permission I was going on dates, and even went on a small weekend getaway with him. It was very vanilla and the whole time I was with him I was thinking of Sir. Everything I did on Sir's command, it felt like a piece of him was there with me. I would order chicken instead of beef, and get only coffee at McDonalds, knowing he would not approve of anything else on the menu. He was not there, he was actually 10,000 miles away but at those little moments I felt he was. They made me smile, be more confident and boosted my ego. Secured my mind a bit. He would give me tasks such as a diet plan, and food journal of all my weekly meals, and when I wrote those down I felt mor...

Sub Life 08/21/2018 I never wrote a blog, I have read plenty of them, to understand enough of what it is about. This blog is about my life as a submissive, and what it means to me. I am a mother of one son, a nurse, a functioning person of society. Someone you see in the grocery store, in a messy bun and flat shoes and a eight year old talking her ear off, following her. But this blog is not about you do see, its about what you don't. I was 16 years old when I had my baby, that was the day that the world decided to put me in a stereotype. One of the many that I belong in now as an adult. I am a reader, I like to read a lot. When I have down time from responsibilities, a book is my go to. Its my escape from reality. A lot of people comment on how big my imagination is, and how creative I can get, books are to thank for that. Most of my childhood was spent alone, with a book and I was not very social. I am a shy person by nature and I try to over come that as an adult everyday. ...