I have decided to do two entries today, because my insecurities are getting the best of me today, and I am overthinking a lot of things that I shouldn’t be. So instead of doing or saying something u may regret, I will write another blog. A blog that I would never do unless it was asked of me by Sir. Last entry I mentioned how I felt when doing things he would ask, such as picking out certain foods, and his presence would be known even without him absent. So that is the reason I am writing this entry now. My second one. To feel that feeling.

Since we are on the discussion of punishments and feelings, I will continue with those. With each transaction the punishment got a bit more severe than 10 lines. It became 50 then 100 and then 200. With each ache of my hand I felt him more and more. One day he gave me the option of isolation or lines. Of course I choose lines, because as I mentioned before, I don’t do well mentally when I am alone for long periods of time. I start becoming what I have today. Today was my sons first day back to school and I was off work all day. So it’s been a lot of laying around the house doing nothing, and trying to busy myself. I hate days like this. I hate days like this so much. It gives me anxiety, fear of loneliness, and isolated.